The marae and tūpāpaku — understanding the spaces and their significance during tangihanga

The marae as a whole — more than a meeting place

The marae is a wāhi tapu — a sacred place — which carries great cultural meaning.
But it is also a living place. It is where Māori culture can be celebrated, the language spoken, inter-tribal obligations met, customs explored and debated, and where important ceremonies such as welcoming visitors and farewelling the dead can be performed.

The term marae refers to the entire complex, which is made up of the wharenui (meeting house, sometimes called the whare tīpuna or ancestral house), the whare kai (kitchen and dining hall), and whare paku (ablutions). Some marae also include a whare karakia (church) and, nearby, an urupā (burial ground).

Of all the events that take place on a marae, the tangihanga is considered the most important. It is the way the dead are farewelled and the surviving family members supported. Everything else on the marae, for those days, bends around that purpose.

The marae ātea — the open space of arrival

When manuhiri (visitors) arrive, they gather first at the gate, waiting to be called forward by the karanga. The open ground they then walk across is the marae ātea (the courtyard in front of the wharenui). The marae ātea is the domain where tikanga Māori — customary practices — find their fullest expression.

It is understood as the realm of Tūmatauenga, the atua of war, and speeches here are allowed to be forceful, carrying that nature. This is the space where the formal work of arrival — the karanga, the whaikōrero (oratory), the acknowledgement of the tūpāpaku and the grief of the whānau — takes place. It is not casual ground. Moving through it with care and quiet is a way of honouring that.

Visitors remain at the gate until they hear the women's karanga summoning them on. They make their way slowly toward the whare tīpuna, guided by a kaikaranga walking at the front, leading the roopu (the group moving together) across the marae ātea.

The wharenui — the house of the ancestor

Stepping through the doorway of the wharenui is stepping into something profound.

The wharenui represents a founding tīpuna (ancestor) of that hapū or iwi, and is named for that ancestor — as you enter, you are entering the embodiment of that person.

Each part of the wharenui symbolically represents the body parts of the ancestor it honours, reflecting the deep interconnectedness of structure and lineage. The whare is often understood as the body of a woman. Women are revered in te ao Māori as the givers of life, and when you step inside the wharenui, you are entering her womb — her puku — held within her care.

The wharenui is the domain of Rongo, the atua of peace, and the speeches that take place within it are expected to be more conciliatory than those outside.
Once you have been welcomed inside, you are held within that peace.
This is where the tūpāpaku lies in state.

The kawa (ceremonial rules) of each marae determines exactly where the tūpāpaku is placed — this may be in a separate structure to the side of the wharenui, under the window on the verandah, or inside the house against the back wall or on the visitors' side.

These decisions belong to the marae, and they vary across iwi and hapū.

The whānau pani (bereaved family) draw strength and comfort from being with the tūpāpaku. The tūpāpaku is spoken to, sung to, and touched as if the person were still present — reflecting the spiritual belief that the wairua (spirit) remains with the tūpāpaku until burial.

The role of the whānau pani

Those days inside the wharenui ask something enormous of the bereaved family.
The whānau pani hold the role of principal mourners — their responsibility is to stay with the tūpāpaku and to be present when manuhiri arrive to pay their respects.
In many places the fasting period of the whānau pani has been relaxed in recent times, and they may eat at the end of the day when the flag of the marae is lowered — but someone should remain with the tūpāpaku at all times.

The mahi of the wider whānau and the haukainga (home people) is to hold everything around the whānau pani — preparing the wharenui, feeding the manuhiri, welcoming each group as they arrive.

Open grieving and outpouring of emotion is encouraged throughout. The tangihanga is not a place to hold yourself quietly together; it is a place to let your love and your loss be seen.

The whare kai — the kitchen and its mana

The whare kai is where the hospitality of the marae lives. After each group of manuhiri has been formally welcomed and has paid their respects to the tūpāpaku, they are called to eat. During the tangihanga, people sleep together in the wharenui, eat in the whare kai, and collectively participate in the work of the marae. It matters to understand that food and the wharenui do not mix.

Food is noa (ordinary, free from tapu) — and bringing it into the meeting house or onto the marae ātea during the formal welcome would diminish the sacredness of that space. The separation of eating and mourning is not incidental; it is a considered expression of respect.

The urupā — returning to the earth

Many marae have an urupā (burial ground) nearby, and it is one of the most tapu places in all of Māori society.

On the final day of the tangihanga, there is usually a service presided over by a minister, priest, or tohunga, and then the tūpāpaku is taken to the urupā for burial.
No eating, drinking, or smoking is permitted within the urupā, and those leaving are expected to wash their hands with water, to reduce the tapu back to the safe, ordinary state of noa.

After the burial, everyone is invited back to the marae for a hākari — a feast that moves the whānau pani from the formal tapu state back to noa, the world of ordinary living. That meal is not a formality. It is the beginning of coming back.

Tikanga is not uniform — let the marae lead

If there is one thing to carry with you, let it be this: the tikanga and kawa for a tangihanga can vary from marae to marae and even from whānau to whānau.
What is observed at one marae may differ at another. All marae have their own kawa and tikanga, and the best advice is to ask the local people what their expectations are.

The kaumātua of the marae lead. Follow them, follow the kaikaranga, follow what those around you are doing — and approach everything with an open heart.
The marae holds your loved one with care during tangihanga. It holds the whānau pani. It holds everyone who arrives to say goodbye. Whatever space you occupy within it — whether you are at the centre of the grief or arriving as a manuhiri from afar — you are part of something that has held Māori through loss for generations.
Understanding the spaces is one way of meeting that responsibility with respect.

If your whānau is navigating a tangihanga right now, our tangihanga guide can walk you through the process step by step — at your own pace, in your own time.

Tikanga varies between iwi, hapū, and whānau. This guide describes commonly observed practices — always defer to your own marae and kaumātua.

Written and reviewed with care by BesideYou — founded by a Māori New Zealander with lived experience of tangihanga.

Sources

• Te Ara — Encyclopedia of New Zealand: Tangihanga – death customs
• Te Ara — Encyclopedia of New Zealand: Te kawa o te marae
• Te Ara — Encyclopedia of New Zealand: Māori manners and social behaviour
• Te Ara — Encyclopedia of New Zealand: Urban Māori
• Te Ara — Encyclopedia of New Zealand: Death and dying
• Te Ipu Aronui: Lying in state
• Te Ipu Aronui: Roles
• Te Ipu Aronui: Tikanga
• Te Atawhai Aroha: Funeral / Tangihanga
• University of Otago — Māori ki Ōtākou: Marae visits
• Te Aka Māori Dictionary: Tangihanga