Why planning ahead for death matters — the gift of clarity for the people you love

The burden we don't mean to leave

When someone dies without having recorded their wishes, the people who love them most are left to make some of the hardest decisions of their lives — often within hours, often while in shock. What kind of farewell would they have wanted? Should it be a burial or a cremation? Who gets the house?

Without a will, your family may face unexpected complications, financial strain, and legal complexity during a time of grief. And the practical weight that follows an unplanned death is not a small thing. The absence of a will can cause delays and additional stress for the people you love during an already devastating time.

Planning ahead is not about being morbid. It is about being kind.

Having a will — and keeping it current

A will is the most fundamental thing you can put in place. While not legally required, having a will is strongly recommended for all New Zealand adults. Without one, your assets are distributed according to the Administration Act 1969, which may not reflect your wishes at all.

The law's formula can produce outcomes that surprise and hurt families. Families often look different today to how they did in 1969. The Act is useful as a last resort, but it doesn't take into account your wishes, the intended passage of family heirlooms, the differing relationships you have with loved ones, or any charitable gifts you may wish to make.

The absence of a will can lead to unintended consequences, such as excluding close friends, stepchildren, or charities from inheriting. And if you have a blended family, a business, or property, the stakes are even higher.

A will doesn't have to be complicated, but it does need to be legally sound. Public Trust and Perpetual Guardian both offer will-making services across Aotearoa, as do most solicitors. The cost of getting it right is small compared to the cost of getting it wrong.

Enduring Powers of Attorney — before you need them

Here is something many people don't realise: planning ahead isn't only about what happens after you die. It's also about what happens if you become unable to speak for yourself while you're still alive.

Giving someone an enduring power of attorney (EPOA) is a way of making sure someone you trust will be able to make decisions for you if you lose the capacity to make and communicate your decisions yourself — for example, because of a serious injury, mental illness, or if you develop dementia in later life.

In New Zealand, there are two kinds of EPOA: one for personal care and welfare, and one for property. Without EPOAs in place, your family and advisers would usually need to apply to the Family Court so someone can be appointed to act for you. That process can be slow, stressful, and expensive — and you don't get to choose who is appointed.

There is also a common and dangerous myth worth naming here: despite the assumption that next of kin can automatically make decisions for a person who does not have capacity, only EPOAs and court orders provide the legal authority to do so.

An EPOA must be set up while you still have mental capacity — you cannot put one in place after the fact. This is the single most important reason not to delay.

An advance care plan — your voice in the room

An advance care plan is different from a will or an EPOA. It is a record of your values, your wishes, and what matters to you when it comes to your health and end-of-life care.

In Aotearoa New Zealand, what you have written in your advance care plan carries legal standing. This means your healthcare team has a responsibility to take the things you have said are important to you into consideration when planning your care or suggesting treatment options.

Anyone at any stage of life and health can have an advance care planning conversation. These conversations are best had while you are well — it becomes much harder to have them in the middle of a crisis.

For whānau Māori, there is a resource called Whenua ki te whenua — an advance care planning guide co-designed with a Māori advisory group that supports people to think through their values, beliefs, and health priorities in a way that honours te ao Māori (a Māori worldview). As with all things relating to end-of-life care and tangihanga (the ceremony of mourning), the right approach for your whānau will depend on your iwi, your hapū, and the guidance of your kaumātua. Planning ahead can open the door to those conversations — but it should never replace them.

Recording your funeral wishes

It is a genuinely loving thing to tell the people who will farewell you what you would have wanted. Even a simple written record — whether it's a burial or cremation, music you'd like played, or where you'd like your ashes scattered — means your whānau are not left guessing at the worst possible moment.

By setting down your funeral wishes in advance, you give your family the reassurance that they are carrying out what you truly wanted, and spare them the extra weight of making those decisions while deep in grief.

Some people choose to prepay their funeral costs. In New Zealand, prepaid funeral funds can be held in trust — for example through the Funeral Directors Association of New Zealand (FDANZ) or providers like Public Trust — and up to $10,000 per person, held in a recognised funeral plan, is currently excluded from asset testing when assessing eligibility for the Residential Care Subsidy. This is worth knowing if you or a loved one are approaching that stage of life.

Where to keep everything — and who needs to know

All the planning in the world is only useful if people can find what you've left. Keep your will, your EPOAs, and any advance care plan or funeral wishes in one accessible place. Tell a trusted person — your partner, a close family member, or your solicitor — exactly where everything is.

Once you have made your plan, share it with your key whānau members, the person you have appointed as your enduring power of attorney, and your healthcare team. It matters that the people who love you know a plan exists and know where to find it.

Review your documents when your life changes — a new relationship, a new child, the purchase of a home, the death of someone you had named in your will. These are the moments when plans need updating.

The conversations that matter most are rarely easy. But sitting with someone you love and saying, "Here's what I'd want, and here's where everything is" — that is one of the most generous things you can do. It is the gift of not having to guess. It is the gift of clarity.

If you're not sure where to start with the practical steps, our plan ahead guide can walk you through what needs to happen, at your own pace.

Circumstances vary. Verify specific details directly with the relevant organisation before acting.

Written and reviewed with care by BesideYou.

Sources

• Health Quality & Safety Commission Te Tāhū Hauora: Advance care planning
• Healthify He Puna Waiora: Advance care planning
• My Advance Care Plan (Te Whatu Ora): Your plan
• Community Law New Zealand: Enduring powers of attorney
• New Zealand Government: Enduring power of attorney
• New Zealand Ministry of Justice: The court and enduring power of attorney
• Public Trust New Zealand: When there is no will