What to do in the first 24 hours after someone dies in New Zealand

Take a breath. There is more time than you think.

The most important thing to know is that very few decisions in the first hours are genuinely urgent.

You are allowed to sit with your loved one, to hold each other, to cry or to feel nothing at all. The practical world will wait a little longer than you fear.

When someone dies at home

If the death occurs at home, the first call is usually to a doctor or emergency services, who will confirm the death.

If the death was expected — following an illness or in the care of a hospice — your first call after that will often be to a funeral director, who can then help coordinate with the doctor.

If the death was unexpected, or you have any concerns, call the police.

In these cases, it is important that your loved one is not moved or disturbed in any way without the permission of the coroner. When someone dies suddenly and the death was unexpected, suspicious, or the cause of death cannot be determined, the police will act as the coroner's agent.

This can feel confronting, but the people who arrive are there to help — not to make things harder.

When someone dies in hospital or a care facility

If the death occurs in a hospital or care facility, staff will guide you through the immediate steps.

The death and the cause of death have to be confirmed before anything else can happen. In most cases this will be done by a doctor or nurse, who will issue a Certificate of Cause of Death.

The staff there have been through this many times. Let them help you.

Contacting a funeral director

Funeral directors are available on call whenever a death occurs. Their role is to help your family spend time together supporting each other while they organise your wishes to ensure a meaningful farewell.

One of the gentler things to know: you do not have to rush this call. Once the death has been confirmed, many families choose to contact a funeral director, and this can happen sooner or later, depending on what feels right. If you would like to spend more time with your loved one before this happens, that is absolutely okay.

If you are using a funeral director to arrange the funeral, they can also register the death with Births, Deaths and Marriages on your behalf. This is one of those tasks that quietly takes care of itself when you have support around you.

If your whānau is preparing for tangihanga

For Māori whānau, the hours after a death carry both grief and responsibility. The care of the tūpāpaku (the person who has died) and the gathering of whānau are woven together from the very beginning.

Tangihanga (the ceremony of mourning) honours the person who has died and allows whānau and friends to have the time and space to grieve and celebrate that person's life in a meaningful way. It encourages whānau to express their emotions of grief — to cry, laugh and sing, talk to each other, and talk to their loved one. Tangihanga is a healing process.

It is important to say clearly: tikanga and kawa around tangihanga will vary depending on iwi, hapū and whānau, as well as in different contexts and locations. The kaumātua of your marae lead the way. If you are unsure, ask someone from that marae or someone who knows what is needed.

Registering the death — what you need to know

This does not need to happen in the first few hours. You will need to submit the registration form to Births, Deaths and Marriages within three working days of the burial or cremation.

If you are using a funeral director, they will typically handle this registration for you.

It is free to register a death, but there is a fee if you choose to order a death certificate. You will need a death certificate for estate and financial matters, so it is worth ordering a copy when you complete the registration.

Letting your employer know

No one should have to worry about work in these first hours, but it helps to know your rights. In New Zealand, bereavement leave provides a minimum entitlement of three full days of paid leave when a member of your immediate family or household dies, or one day's paid leave when someone outside of the immediate family has died.

Bereavement leave can be taken at any time and for any purpose relating to the bereavement. You are entitled to it after six months of continuous employment with the same employer. Check with your employer — many offer more than the minimum.

Who has authority to make decisions?

It is worth knowing early on that if there is a will, the executor usually has authority to make decisions about after-care and funeral arrangements. If there is no will, or the will has yet to be found, the next of kin has legal authority.

If this is unclear or contested, a funeral director or Community Law Centre can help guide your family.

The first hours after a death ask more of you than almost any other moment in life. You are allowed to feel every part of what is happening — the shock, the sadness, the strange calm that sometimes arrives. You do not need to have all the answers right now. The people around you, and the support that exists in New Zealand, are here to carry some of the weight alongside you.

When you are ready to look further ahead, our after someone passes guide walks you through what comes next, in your own time and at your own pace.

Circumstances vary. Verify specific details directly with the relevant organisation before acting.

Written and reviewed with care by BesideYou.

Sources

• Funeral Directors Association of New Zealand: What to do when someone dies
• New Zealand Government: What you need to do when someone dies
• New Zealand Government: Registering a death
• Citizens Advice Bureau: How do I register a death?
• Community Law New Zealand: Confirming and registering the death
• Coroners Court New Zealand: First stages of the coronial process
• Employment New Zealand: Bereavement leave
• Te Ara – The Encyclopedia of New Zealand: Tangihanga – death customs