How to choose a funeral director in New Zealand

What a funeral director actually does

A funeral director steps in at one of the hardest moments imaginable. Their role begins from the moment of death — collecting your loved one from the place they died and caring for them until burial or cremation. But the work goes well beyond that.

A funeral director has a key role in helping families, whānau and friends after a death. They may help to arrange what happens to your loved one, provide information about any coroner's requirements, prepare your loved one for viewing, fulfil the family's wishes around the funeral or tangihanga, and liaise with lawyers around the will.

Acting on your behalf, they can also help with tasks such as placing death notices and registering the death. In short, they carry the logistical weight so that you can focus on your people and your grief.

For whānau preparing for tangihanga (the ceremony of mourning), a good funeral director understands that their role is to support, not to lead. Every iwi, hapū, and whānau has its own tikanga (customs and protocols), and tangihanga are guided by those who hold that knowledge — kaumātua, marae communities and whānau members. A funeral director's role, when invited to support a tangihanga, is to follow the lead of whānau. That support may include extended whānau and visitors gathering over several days, specific protocols around caring for tūpāpaku, and services held at a marae, home, church, or community venue.

How the industry is regulated in New Zealand

This is something many families do not know, and it matters. In New Zealand, there is no requirement for a person to hold any specific qualification to act as a funeral director. It is a good idea to check what experience and qualifications a funeral home has before you choose one.

The sector is voluntarily self-regulated through membership in FDANZ (the Funeral Directors Association of New Zealand), as well as New Zealand Independent Funeral Homes and the New Zealand Embalmers Association.

FDANZ members must adhere to strict criteria, including codes of ethics and conduct, mandatory ongoing training, and nationally recognised qualifications.

Working with a member firm also gives you access to the only specialist funeral director complaint service.

Outside of FDANZ, there are limited mechanisms for dealing with disputes that may arise over how a funeral has been conducted, or its price. Consumers' primary protections come from the Consumer Guarantees Act, the Fair Trading Act 1986, and the Disputes Tribunal.

Choosing an FDANZ member does not guarantee a perfect experience, but it does mean there are professional standards in place and a formal path forward if something goes wrong.

What a funeral might cost

Funeral costs in New Zealand vary considerably depending on where you live, what is involved, and which funeral home you use. A modest funeral involving cremation might cost around $8,000 to $10,000 as a rough guide — but costs can be lower or significantly higher depending on your choices and your region. Funeral costs vary significantly across New Zealand.

Funeral directors may charge a flat fee for their services, or they may charge for each service individually. Other significant costs typically include burial plot fees and the cost of the casket. Embalming, service sheets, hearse hire, catering and flowers also add to the price.

Always ask for a written, itemised estimate before agreeing to anything. You are entitled to know what you are signing up for.

Financial support that may be available

No one should feel that cost prevents them from honouring their loved one. There is financial support in New Zealand that many families do not know about.

Work and Income offers a Funeral Grant. You do not have to be on a benefit to qualify, and you do not have to pay the money back. Work and Income may be able to pay a Funeral Grant of up to $2,697.43 if the estate of the person who has died cannot cover the cost. The grant is asset and income tested against the estate and the applicant — always verify the current figure and your eligibility directly with Work and Income, as amounts are updated periodically.

If a person dies because of an injury covered by ACC, there is a separate funeral grant. From 1 July 2025, that grant is up to $7,990.30. Again, verify this figure directly with ACC.

Māori may also be able to get a grant for tangihanga from their iwi organisation. It is worth contacting your iwi directly to ask what support may be available.

Questions worth asking before you choose

You do not have to accept the first funeral home you contact. It is entirely reasonable — and wise — to ask questions. Here are some worth raising:

• Are you a member of FDANZ or New Zealand Independent Funeral Homes?
• Can you give me a full written, itemised estimate before anything proceeds?
• Do you have experience supporting tangihanga, and how do you work alongside whānau and kaumātua?
• Who specifically will be caring for my loved one, and can I meet them?
• What happens if my needs change or costs increase — how will you communicate that?
• Are there simpler or more affordable options if the full service is outside our budget?
• Do you have a formal complaints process?

People who are grieving can find it hard to be decisive, which adds to the stress of an already unbearable time. If you have been able to build a genuine sense of trust with your funeral director, that can make a real difference. Trust your instincts. If a funeral home feels pressured or transactional, it is okay to look elsewhere.

You do not have to do everything through a funeral director

A funeral director can take care of everything, or you can choose to do some or all things yourself. Many families, including those holding tangihanga, choose to share care with the funeral director — handling some elements themselves and delegating others. This can also reduce costs. A good funeral director will respect that choice completely and work alongside you, whatever you decide.

Whatever path you take, choosing someone you feel genuinely comfortable with — someone who listens, explains clearly, and treats your loved one with dignity — matters more than any other factor.

BesideYou is here to help you think through the practical steps at whatever pace feels right. Our planning a funeral guide walks through what to consider, in plain language, alongside you.

Circumstances vary. Verify specific details directly with the relevant organisation before acting.

Written and reviewed with care by BesideYou.

Sources

• Funeral Directors Association of New Zealand: FDANZ Homepage
• Te Hokinga ā Wairua End of Life Service (New Zealand Government): Find out
• Community Law New Zealand: Funerals and tangihanga
• Work and Income New Zealand: Bereavement
• Work and Income New Zealand: Funeral Grant
• Consumer NZ: Funerals — The cost of dying